- Confidence
- Vision
- Communication
- Bags of style
- Visibility
- The ability to get things done
- Mystery & Enigma
First Key - THE CONFIDENCE KEY
Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence quotes a report by Dr. T Berry Brazelton, an eminent Harvard paediatrician, in which confidence is listed as one of the ingredients of a child's crucial capacity to learn. - "Confidence - A sense of control and mastery of one's body, behavior and world; the child's sense that he is more likely than not to succeed at what he undertakes and that adults will be helpful."
Confidence comes from belief in oneself, from knowledge, experience and expertise. If we have confidence we can behave confidently!
The core of confidence is Self-esteem and what we believe about ourselves - the Believing and Knowing Oneself.
Building Self -Esteem
1. THE VISIONING TECHNIQUE -
The majority of athletes use visionary techniques to help them achieve their goals. They run through the event in question, imagining the actual physical experience of the competition and finally "feeling" what it would be like to win, experiencing the roar of the crowd and the excitement of the medal ceremony. This programmes the brain positively, maximizing the potential for success.
In his book, In Pursuit of Excellence - David Hemery describes a series of interviews with achievers from all walks of life - "Visualization was considered to be the most important aspect these achievers had in common. They sensed with the greatest possible clarity the successful performance of their ambition. At times this involved using all their senses; they would imagine the sound, sight, touch, taste and smell of the coming challenge and its successful outcome. It is important that the action is as close to perfection as one's mind can perceive."
Hemery believes that this approach has a number of advantages. It allows the individual to have "been there" before the event and therefore, some of the element of fear of the unknown can be resolved and perhaps most importantly, the individual is convincing him or herself that successful action is possible. This means that one is working on an improved self-image which can increase one's self confidence; and confidence is all important in performing well under stressful conditions. He believes that visualization is the mind's way of rehearsing personal control of successful actions.
2. ACHIEVEMENT BANKS -
Another way of building self-esteem is to create a visual bank for achievements. Collect the records of your achievements and keep it in one place and keep going through them to inspire and motivate you when low.
3. FEAR OF FAILURE OR LEARNING FROM MISTAKES?
"Half the failures in life arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping."
Having a go, not being frightened to get it wrong or to be refused, together with the ability to continuously learn from mistakes - these are characteristics of truly charismatic individuals.
"IF YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL VISION THEN YOU WILL HAVE EXTRAORDINARY ENERGY ABOUT IT."
"NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR OWN CONSENT" - ELEANOR ROOSEVOLT.
"RECOGNIZING AND ACKNOWLEDGING OUR OWN ABILITY IS VERY IMPORTANT WHEN IT COMES TO BUILDING OUR OWN CONFIDENCE."
Jeffrey Archer's explanation as to why there are more "paupers in the world than princess" -
"If you have talent and energy you can become a KING.
If you have no talent but you have energy you can become a PRINCE.
If you have talent but no energy you will be a PAUPER."
So therefore, it is very important for you to take of your HEALTH and SPIRIT.
- Accept and Believe honest feedback - positive or negative.
- Visualize Success.
- Find the courage to "have a go".
- Learn from mistakes.
- Gain EXPERIENCE and EXPERTISE.
- Recognize personal CAPABILITIES and LIMITATIONS.
- Set achievable GOALS but strive to exceed these.
- Behave Confidently.
- Above all, "KNOW WHO YOU ARE".
- The secret ingredients are - ENERGY, MOTIVATION & DRIVE.
Second Key - THE VISION KEY
Visualize what you want to be and get the picture clear in your mind.
- Set out on the journey of SELF AWARENESS.
- Identify personal values and beliefs.
- Assess these against natural principles.
- Write your own obituary to give you guidance on what you want to achieve in your life.
- Draw up a personal mission statement.
Third Key - THE COMMUNICATION KEY
It is extremely important to have the right communication skills to express your self completely and confidently.
- Communicate with passion, feelings, enthusiasm and emotion.
- Develop the ability to use your sixth sense - your instinct.
- Recognize and project your chosen image.
- Use humor with care.
- Develop excellent presentation skills.
Fourth Key - THE STYLE KEY
To be true to others it is first important to be true to your self and BE YOURSELF.
- Develop curiosity.
- Learn to play again.
- Become a "superbaby".
- Observe style and excellence and learn from examples.
- Develop a passion for learning.
- Feel and visualize.
- Love What You Do.
- Be Courageous.
- Develop your own style with pride.
Fifth Key - THE MOVING AND SHAKING KEY
- Work at what you want to.
- Verbalize and share your dream and vision.
- Develop and sustain focus.
- Sharpen your team skills.
- Develop the ability to move along the leadership - management continuum with ease.
- Develop planning and control skills.
- Always set excellent examples.
Sixth Key - THE VISIBILITY KEY
- Stand up and be counted.
- Express your views assertively.
- Seek visibility and manage the consequences.
- Always treat others with respect, courtesy and care.
Seventh Key - THE MYSTERIOUS AND ENIGMATIC KEY
- Identify the source of your charisma.
- Listen twice as much as you speak.
- Recognize & avoid threats to your mysterious and enigmatic aura.
A very interesting and helpful book that guides you well on how to unleash your full potential and be successful.